Nae, I havent made anything clear to her yet. I honestly have not spoken to her since she left. I have told my brother I want nothing more to do with her, but that was mainly to get him off my back. since boxing day, she has rang me once, which I didnt answer. Shes texted me a few times trying to make out it was all my fault, but shes not angry with me. I havent said anything or texted her anything because I just dont have the fight in me anymore. I cannot be bothered with any of it.
I definately dont want the girls to be used as pawns anything, yet this is where it gets confusing for me. Growing up, my relationship with relatives was governed by who she was and wasnt talking to. I swore to myself that when I was a parent I wouldnt take away my childrens right to have relationship with relatives on the basis of my relationships (does that make sense?) So in short I dont want to take away a relationship with a relative from them because of my problems, but then I dont want her in my life. Maybe the girls are too young to know about it, and will ask later in life. I just hope they dont have the hurt that I carry because of what I experienced growing up.
)
Sweets I understand really I do .... I swore I would never let my feelings about anyone, interfere with my childrens relationship with that person .... unless that person does the wrong thing by my child. My kids are too young to know whats good for them so its my job as their parent to ensure they are surrounded by loving, caring people who will be positive role models in their lives. Its my responsibility to ensure the right people are there to help model them into the people they have the potential to be

My mother pulls out all stops for everyone else, even babysits my niece. My SIL thinks the sun shines out of her butt. She admits to fault when talking to other people but CANNOT apologise or acknowledge her wrong doings when they have been done to me. Everybody deserves forgiveness but you need to ask for it in order to receive it. I want to lead by example for my girls. Even by offering life lines to people to give them an opportunity to do the right thing.

I am not saying you should forgive and forget, but if it helps to explain to your children that yes Nanny did the wrong thing and she needs "time out" to think about what she has done and given the opportunity to apologise.

Anyway, good luck hun,I have ceased all contact with my immediate family and as a result of our looooong running dispute, I have lost my extended family as they all believe my mothers crap.

Its hard emotionally, but they have also made their own minds up. My children will be told the truth when they are old enough.